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Saturday 1 December 2018

Oh, you dipshit, Sexums

I just realized I never posted a message about my on-pause plans for Seupermax on here. I had a post written out, but I never... posted it... it's just sittin' there, unpublished... very smart. AT ANY RATE, Seupermax was on hold for several months while I learned how to use Unity, and now I've decided I'm done with the whole shebang. The following is from my post on Patreon, which will probably also be kaput by the time you read this.

'Hey, guys.

This post brings with it some sad news, so I won't waste time: I've decided to stop developing adult video games. Like, cold turkey. There are a number of interrelated reasons, but they ultimately boil down to the following four big ones:

1.) Constantly working on pornography is putting a strain on my personal and social life. Despite how lewd my games get I really don't like talking about this sort of stuff with my friends or family - especially family - and so I've kept my job a secret from basically everyone but my wife. This has forced me to remain guarded about almost my entire life for more than two years, now, and I don't want to maintain the facade anymore. I like to be honest, and lying constantly about what I do for a living has become... trying. Stressfully so. I keep having to blow people off to work on my games and give them bogus, fake-sounding reasons, and it's driving me bonkers. (My wife, too. She has to lie for me too often. It's not cool.)

2.) My life has become too busy to properly keep up with a build-every-two-weeks schedule. I have absolutely hated taking the last few months off to try and learn Unity, and while many of you have reminded me that you happily support me without constant output I can't get past my own self-imposed update guidelines. It's a mental thing that I just can't shake. Tack on the fact that I'm pretty sure I'll not have a build done by Christmas and you've got a solid recipe for mental disaster. (I probably shouldn't have moved away from text-based RPGs. Everything kinda went downhill from there, didn't it?)

3.) I'm just not earning enough money from making these games. That's a weird thing to say, too, because I am making a decent living each month - but I've found myself forced into a weird income bracket where I'm fine so long as I live in a basement apartment, but anything more than that and my bank account starts to tighten uncomfortably. The income from Patreon is sitting in a little niche, probably because pixel porn is sort of a niche market already, and I can't sit in that tax bracket forever. I want my puppy to have access to a goddamned window so he can stare outside whenever he likes, and with my current income that's not really an option. (And no, unfortunately, we can't move somewhere with cheaper rent. My wife's job is here. Not gonna make her move, she likes what she does.)

4.) I... I just don't want to draw porn anymore. It really comes down to that. I like the world I've created, but damned if I am not sick to death of coming up with new ways to make pixelated characters fuck over and over. I know, every job has its share of repetition, but I've slowly come to loathe these animations. Sex should be enjoyed, and I'm just not gettin' that enjoyment anymore. Hell, real life porn is starting to become just another tool for me to reference while creating my own animations, and that ain't right.

I've always wanted to make video games for a living, and I don't want to flush that dream down the toilet. As such I plan to spend the next year or more developing an all-ages video game that I can, hopefully, sell on a platform like Steam. I've been trying to do that in my off time for a while now, but working on adult games has effectively shoved that idea to the side, and I don't want to delay it any longer. Adult game development just feels like a rut, and I need to pick myself up out of the rut and move on. Hopefully someone who still has a real passion for the work can come along and take my place, giving all youse guys the wank-worthy experiences you deserve.

I am truly and supremely sorry for this, especially if you were eagerly awaiting the next build of Seupermax. It made for a fun learning experience, and I plan to use the skills I earned in my future games. (Assuming I can make a fair shake of competing for space in the crowded game dev market. We'll see about that.) I just can't keep trying to drag myself through the process of developing games for which I have roughly zero passion when they eat up basically all of my time. I miss having a normal life.

It was a (generally) fun ride while it lasted, and even though you won't necessarily know it's me behind the wheel, I hope you get the chance to play some more of my stuff in the future. You, ah, just won't have your dicks / vages (vagi?) out when you do. Or maybe you will, I dunno. I won't judge.

Sexums

PS: As a parting gift, here's a bigass zip file with a ton of past bonus animations. I'm stopping the Patreon, but I don't want people to go without, so... you know. If I work up the moxie I might do the same for a lot of Simply Mindy animations in the future, though that is a daunting task I don't want to consider right now.

PPS: If things don't go well I will probably come crawling back and do porn again in a year or so. Just sayin', I won't rule it out. I like money and eating and a roof over my head and paying rent. Well, not paying rent, but you know what I mean.'